You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
