Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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