I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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