Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
