Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You are the jesus of drinking
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize