No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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