I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
