Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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