I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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