I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize