please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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