haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
