i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
