You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize