"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
