You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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