i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
