PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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