im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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