yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
