I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize