You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
