I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
