By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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