i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
