Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
