I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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