Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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