what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
