this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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