I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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