my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
