yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
