why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Green mimosas i think yes
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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