Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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