This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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