Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
