So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
