youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
