she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
