Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

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(807): View more from Ontario

Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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(303): View more from Colorado

i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.

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(510): View more from California

This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

(615): View more from Tennessee

That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love

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