And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just pee around me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
