So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
