Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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