I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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