it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
