I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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