sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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