We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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