Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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