No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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