So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize