Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
