just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
