people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
