she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
