go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
