do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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