The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
