All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Come on in and take your pants off
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