I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
