I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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