i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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