highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
