could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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