Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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