just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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