the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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